


One Life for the Two of Us - oneshot

by RoseLyn28



Category: Larry - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 19:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18079742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseLyn28/pseuds/RoseLyn28
Summary: Just a warning: this one shot does have sensitive subjects since it is set after Johannah has passed.A 1D canon Larry oneshot where Louis has asked Harry to sing Two of Us with him.





	One Life for the Two of Us - oneshot

Harry's phone is sounding as soon as the plane has landed. And his heart is stopping for a moment. He isn't sure he can go through with this plan.

He answers the call and sighs, "hey, I just got here."

"Great, we'll have a car pick you up," the voice is telling Harry. 

Harry only agrees while he's taking his small bag. He exits the plane, looking around the back exit. He sees several airline workers ushering him forward and he only nods and waves at them.

He's thankful to have back exits sometimes; he'd rather the whole world not know what he's doing. This means too much to him at the moment... and he wants to keep this private.

He's taken by a black SUV across town before they're stopping outside of a recording studio. He can feel his heart beginning to race while Jeff is talking to him in the front seat. He isn't sure what he's even saying; he only sees one thing... Louis Tomlinson.

Louis is standing outside, cigarette in his left hand as he's chatting on the phone. And Harry's sure Louis has never looked more incredible than he does right now... even if it's sweatpants and a sweatshirt he's wearing.

"Hey," Harry's speaking up, Louis' eyes finally meeting his, "long time, no see."

Louis stands completely still for a moment, taking in the sight of Harry in front of him. He hasn't seen him in months and he can tell how much Harry's changed in that timeframe.

But Harry's still gorgeous, even if he looks tired. And Louis can still see the young boy he met ages ago at X-Factor, even if time has changed them both.

"Hey," Louis finally says and ends the call, "uh, glad you could come. I know you're busy..."

"This is more important," Harry tells him quickly. "Uh, can I go inside?"

Louis nods and points as Harry only smiles and heads inside, his heart pounding.

He looks around the studio, saying hello to several people as Louis is coming in.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Louis is asking Harry, Harry glancing at him. 

"Didn't she ask me to?" Harry's asking quietly. 

Louis bites his lip, his words failing him. He nods some and tries to smile as his eyes sting again. "Sorry. We've been working on this for a while... and my emotions are... yeah..."

"It's ok," Harry's saying softly, his hand gently touching Louis' cheek. "I understand."

Louis stares at Harry for a long pause before he's clearing his throat and going to talk to the sound director.

Harry takes off his coat and sits back, listening to Louis' vocals on this beautiful song. Harry wonders how Louis even has the strength to keep singing this. He knows how painful this is for him.

Harry closes his eyes, listening to Louis' gentle voice, thinking once again how easy it is for Louis to convey emotion. He's so amazing at it, Harry thinks. Harry knows he always has been. Louis could convey emotions so easily during One Direction. And Harry can even admit that that's the only reason he gave Louis the most gentle lines of the songs he wrote himself.

Soon, Harry's getting up to do what it is Jay asked him to do... and his eyes are meeting Louis' once again. He knows he's going to struggle through this, but he knows Louis will even more.

The next week, Harry's going about his normal routine again in LA, though his mind is still with Louis... even though he isn't even sure where he is now.

Harry's mind is always with Louis, whether he realises that or not.

He's finishing up lunch with Ben Winston and a few others when his phone sounds with a text. He's glancing down at it as he's walking the sidewalk outside of the restaurant.

He sees a message from Louis... and he's smiling instantly. 

"Thought you'd like to hear it first. - L"

Harry grins even more as he's getting in his car slowly, loading the song on his phone... and hoping he can handle hearing this.

He sees another message from Louis pop up.

"Thanks for doing the song with me. It meant a lot to her for us to do this togethe and it means a lot to me, H. - L"

Harry closes his mouth as the song is beginning to play; and he doesn't even have time to wipe the tears away from his eyes as he's listening to Louis' incredible vocals.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head as he's trying to contain how much this hurts; how much he wants to run into Louis' arms and make him feel better... make himself feel better about all of this.

Harry finally sighs and heads home, so much still racing through his mind; he wants to text Louis so badly. But does he dare?

Another week passes again, and Harry stays busy doing normal things mainly. Although, he knows soon, the song will be released to the world... and he wonders how people will react to seeing his name on Louis Tomlinson's track. How will it look to see his name on Louis' album?

Is Harry ready for the attention this will cause for the 2 of them? No, he's not. But he knows deep down that it doesn't matter. Jay, his second mum, wanted this for Louis... and for himself.

Harry wants to come clean about all of it; the years and years of hiding he and Louis went through. He wants all of it to just go away... for things to fix themselves. But he knows they never will.

He sighs and looks at his phone again as he's sitting in his house alone. He glances at the photos on the walls... and he sees himself and Louis when they were much younger. 

And he can't take his eyes off of the photo. He doesn't see anything but love. He sees what everyone else has assumed all along. But then again, Harry has always seen it. He's seen it every time he's made eye contact with Louis Tomlinson.

He bites his lip, remembering the many times that Jay would kid with Harry, calling him Louis' husband. And Harry can only grin a little as his eyes are watering. Jay saw what was between them from the start. 

Harry even wonders if Louis is aware of what his mother saw between them; there was so many times Harry had talks with her about Louis... but he wonders how many talks Louis had with her about him.

Harry's phone is sounding and he glances down at it to see Niall FaceTiming him. 

"Hey," Niall's saying with a grin as soon as Harry answers. 

"Hi," Harry's smiling some, "what's up? Where are you?"

"Oh, Melbourne," Niall replies, "just sort of... chilling for now. How about you?"

"Home. LA," Harry's saying with a sigh. "About to go out, I think. I need to not think."

"I heard the song," Niall is admitting with a small grin, "it's amazing, mate. I just got off the phone with Tommo..."

"Did you?" Harry asks quietly, "where is he?" 

"He's still in the UK, I believe," Niall shrugs, "although his launch will be in LA next week, right?"

"I don't know," Harry's shrugging, "I haven't asked."

"I figured that you would know. You did the song with him," Niall is saying. "I get it. You guys still aren't talking."

"We talk... some," Harry mumbles. "Look, Niall, I don't have time to play 21 questions. Go play golf."

"Oi," Niall says with a smirk, "go get laid."

"Oh, fuck you," Harry's sighing and groaning, "bye, Niall."

He ends the call and throws down his iPhone before getting up and looking at the photo of he and Louis closer.

He notices the striped anchor shirt Louis is wearing, and the beanie on his head. And Harry remembers arguing over that shirt several times.

He absent-mindlessly rubs his hand over his anchor tattoo, his mind wandering back to the time he first got it... and how he wanted so many tattoos to match Louis... because that's all that mattered at the time. Everything Louis thought of him is what mattered to Harry.

Now, Harry stands here and wonders why he's kept so many photos of he and Louis on his walls. But he also finds himself wondering how many Louis still has?

Harry goes out in LA, sitting in different bars and meeting different fans... and his mind is still on Louis the entire time. He wonders if Louis is asleep at this hour. 

He wants so badly to text him when he's finally headed home at 4 in the morning. He knows his face will be plastered all over Twitter in the morning... and everyone will know he's still in LA. But, right now, Harry doesn't care. He cares about talking to Louis.

Harry has never been the one to drunk call anyone... so, he refrains from calling Louis. He does text him as he's crawling in his huge, lonely bed.

He keeps it simple and only pretends to be interested in the song release... but Harry knows that Louis will read through the lines.

He falls asleep, waiting for Louis to text back. And when he wakes, his phone is next to his hair, and Harry only groans at the headache he now has.

He's grabbing a joint from the nightstand and getting up, grabbing his phone. He sees the normal notifications on his phone and he's only groaning as he's going outside and taking a seat, his eyes watching the sun rise. He doesn't sleep anymore... at least not sound.

He looks and sees a message from Louis and Harry's only grinning again. He opens it and reads Louis’ text telling him the Doncaster weather is rough.

Harry feels a pain in his heart. He wants to be there. That is his family as well. Louis' sisters are his sisters. And he only wants to accompany them while Louis is letting them hear the masterpiece he has written.

He also wants to be there for Louis... because he always has been. But he can't just confess that now, can he? It's been too long for them.

Harry sighs and pushes the thought out of his mind as he's capturing a photo of the sunrise and sending it to Louis, telling him he wishes he could be here... even though Harry knows he shouldn't.

He sits the phone down, hitting the joint while he's staring off, so many thoughts still racing. He wonders so much what people will think when this song comes out. He doesn't want the purpose of the song to be overshadowed by himself... and he knows most people will likely only see it as Harry and Louis... Larry.

Harry wants to laugh to himself as he thinks about the Larry concept again... and how accurate almost every single detail was to his and Louis' real lives during that crazy five years in One Direction. He can even remember wondering if girls stalked them for the sheer purpose of seeing if they were together.

Harry's smile fades though when he remembers when they were forced apart by management, not just once but four times at the least, before they threatened to end Harry and Louis' contracts early. 

Harry sighs and rubs his face some; he blames himself for how things have turned out. He blames himself for overworking himself... for always striving for the next best thing. And for pushing Louis away. 

Harry knows Louis pushed him away as well in the beginning; when things became too much between them and their management. So many times Louis said he would walk out... he would quit and never see Harry again.

And then one day, that became a reality for Harry. He still remembers the pain he felt on that night as well. The night of their last concert still sits in Harry's mind... and he can't let it go.

He knows they had so much going for them... they loved one another. 

So, how is it they haven't really had a long conversation with each other since late last year? 

Harry's phone beeps and he's looking quickly.

"Wish you were here in Donny."

Harry smiles before he means to. He writes Louis back quickly saying he wishes the same thing, hoping Louis won't be upset with him for saying so. 

He spins his ring mindlessly on his finger, awaiting Louis' text message. When his phone finally sounds, Harry's almost afraid to look.

"You don't have plans, do you?" 

Harry bites his lip and replies faster than he should, but he doesn't care. 

"My sisters would love to see you. You should come, if you can. Understand if you can't."

Harry doesn't know what to do... is going the right thing to do? 

He lets out a deep breath as he's getting up, wondering what he should do. He's texting Jeff next, making sure that he's ok to fall off the face of the earth for a few days.

Right now, Harry's willing to do anything to be near Louis... even if it means hiding and not drawing attention to himself. After all, so many people already know Louis is in Doncaster by now... so what would they think if they saw Harry there, too?

Harry starts throwing clothes in a bag before he's sighing and stopping. He picks up his phone and starts replying to Louis again, second guessing this.

"Maybe you should just spend time with your family, Lou."

He knows he doesn't want to not go... of course he does. He wants to be there for him. But he also knows he doesn't want to impose if Louis doesn't really want him there.

"My family have seen me a lot in the last few months. I know they'd fucking love to see you, too. Come on over, we'd love to have you. I’d love to have you. Ok, Harold?”

And every doubt Harry had has now gone. That's all he needed to hear from Louis; he only hopes that Louis isn't drunk... and that he really means what he's saying.

After Harry's packed, he's catching the next flight to Doncaster. He remembers all too well how long these plane trips last, but he has plenty of books to read with him while he’s in first class.

He isn't too fond of first class, per say. But at the same time, he also doesn't want others to know where he's going. He doesn't need the entire world following along with what he's doing right now. They will be soon enough as it is.

Harry's texting Louis to make sure that someone can pick him up at the airport when he lands; he explains to Louis that he'll be using the back exit again... and Louis is all too familiar with that set up.

Once the plane has landed and after Harry has gotten his other bag in the airport, he's placing his beanie over his hair and heading to the back exit, waving and smiling to a few airline workers.

He steps outside and he sees a black Land Rover pulling up... and suddenly, his stomach feels like it's doing flips.

He walks over and opens the door, throwing in his bags as he's smiling at Louis. "Hi."

"Hey, how was the flight?" Louis is asking as Harry's climbing in and closing the door. 

"Uh, long," Harry's grinning and looking around, "Jesus... it still looks the same."

"Hasn't changed much," Louis smirks as he's pulling off behind a line of traffic. "Glad you could come."

Harry glances at him, seeing how tired he looks. "How's everything going here? How's your sisters?"

Louis smiles some, "they're all good, I suppose. Uh, Felicite is still having a pretty rough time... and Lottie..."

"And you?" Harry's asking next, his voice deep. "Are you alright, Lou?"

"I'm holding in there," Louis whispers. "Guess I have my moments still. I mean, you'd think with all the time that has passed..."

"It gets easier... to live with the pain," Harry's whispering, "but I'm not sure that the pain itself will ever get easier."

"How's your mum doing?" Louis asks while they're waiting at the stop light. 

"She's... ok," Harry tries to smile. "She has bad days, too, obviously. But she and I... we still talk about Robin a lot, you know. I'm going to see her after I leave Donny."

Louis nods as he's pulling out of the parking area slowly. And Harry sits back and stays quiet now, not knowing what to say.

When they make it to Louis' home in Doncaster, Harry's stepping out as Louis is getting his bags.

"Looks the same," Harry's smirking at him.

Louis shrugs some as he's heading to the front door, Harry behind him. "Anyone know you're here, Harold?"

Harry's grinning some at the name as he glances back at Louis, "uh, no. Well, yes. Jeff, my team. They know. Uh, he's arranging for photos to be staged... showing I'm there."

Louis grins as he's opening the front door. "Yeah, the paparazzi trick. I remember that fondly. They still do that for me sometimes... so I can have privacy."

"Harry! Oh my god," Lottie is saying loudly as she's running over and hugging Harry tightly. "Holy shit. Wow. You're actually here."

"I am," Harry's chuckling, "how are you, Lots? I've missed you."

"You've talked to me through IG and Snapchat," she laughs and pats his shoulder. "But I've missed seeing you in person."

Harry's hugging Louis' twin sisters next, telling them how much they've grown and also how much they look like their mum.

Then, when they reach the living room, Harry sees Louis' youngest siblings Doris and Ernest sitting on the sofa with Felicite.

Harry's grinning and kneeling down as the 2 young twins are screaming and running into his arms. He hugs them both tightly as they're saying his name and giving him kisses.

"I've missed you 2," Harry's smiling before he's standing and kissing both of them on the head. He's then grinning widely at Felicite.

"Hey, you," she's grinning at Harry immediately while she's hugging him. "Wow. It's been a while."

"It has," Harry tells her and kisses her cheek, "hope you're alright."

"I've been ok," she nods and smiles at him, "I've missed seeing you around though."

Harry tries to smile as he's glancing at Louis for a moment. "Yeah, I've missed seeing everyone. It's been crazy for months..."

"The tour and all, yeah," she smiles, "you did outstanding though. I did see you at a couple of the shows..."

"Yeah, you did," Harry's smiling at her, "I wish I would've had more time to chat..."

"We get it," Lottie touches his shoulder and smiles, "we've just missed having you around. Literally. I've missed having you to put make up on... to do snapchats with..."

"Yeah," Louis laughs and shakes his head, "those were the days, right?"

"They were," Harry nods and grins like he hasn't in ages. 

"I remember that I got those quite frequently from both of you," Louis shakes his head and chuckles. 

"Yeah, we were a bit annoying," Lottie grins, "Harry, want a drink? I have margaritas and martinis."

"Uh, I'll take a margarita," Harry smirks before looking at Louis, "can I take my stuff upstairs?"

"There's a room on the right, unless you wanna bunk with me," Lottie is telling Harry as she's walking to the kitchen. 

"Uh, I'll take my own, I guess," Harry laughs and shrugs while he heads upstairs.

He sees Louis' room not too far from the spare room... and he's suddenly letting his lack of judgement get the best of him.

He sits his bags down in the guest room before he's walking across the hall to Louis' room... and Harry sees that everything is about the same. He even sees photos of he and Louis on the walls still... and even beside Louis' sofa and gaming area of his room.

Harry sighs and finally leaves the room, closing the door behind him; he only wishes he had the courage to try and make all of this right.

When he reaches the kitchen, Lottie is smiling and giving him his margarita. "How long can you stay with us?"

"Uh," Harry's looking at Louis again, "I... I don't really know. Maybe like 4 days or so? When are you leaving?"

"For L.A.?" Louis asks. Harry nods some, "not for another week. I have plenty of time here. You can stay for the entire week, if you'd like."

"Uh," Harry's saying quietly, "I might... yeah."

Louis grins some before his phone is sounding. He sighs and asks Harry to give him a moment as he's walking outside into the back garden.

Harry bites his lip, his eyes meeting Lottie's, "how is he these days, Lots? Is he really ok?"

Lottie glances up at Harry and shrugs some while she's trying to smile, "I think... that he's doing better. He seems to be."

Harry nods and looks at Louis outside the door still chatting on the phone. 

"You haven't talked to him much, I take it," she's saying next, her voice quieter. Harry shakes his head and Lottie only nods a little. "Maybe you should try talking to him while you're here."

"Doesn't he have Eleanor?” Harry's speaking up instantly while he's looking up at Lottie. He sighs and looks away. "Sorry..."

"You know he doesn't care about her like that," Lottie states, her tone serious, "He never has. Harry, come on. Don't be fucking ridiculous. You know damn well that my brother is still in love with you. Hell, he probably always will be."

Harry smiles some before glancing off again. He believes Lottie with all of his heart... because he knows he still loves Louis just as much. 

That evening, Harry's finishing a shower and throwing on some sweatpants, then a t-shirt before he's going downstairs again, seeing the fireplace lit now and a Disney movie on for Ernest and Doris.

"Oh, Jumanji," Harry's grinning at once, "I love this movie."

"Hey," Louis is speaking up from the back doorway. Harry looks over at him as Louis is waving for him to join him outside.

Harry walks out, closing the door behind him before he's folding his arms and looking around. He sees Jay's favorite roses in Louis' garden and he's grinning again.

"They've bloomed finally," he whispers. "I can see her favorite white ones."

Louis hits his cigarette and nods, "yeah, they bloomed just this week. It's almost as if they waited..."

"Maybe they did," Harry's saying softly as he's staring out at the trees in the backyard, and the privacy fence lining Louis' entire estate. "They do send us signs from beyond, you know."

Louis glances at Harry again, his face serious, "yeah... they do."

"Something came to my mind the other day," Harry starts before he's smiling a little, "I'm not sure why, but... I remembered all the times your mum called me her son... and called me your husband."

Louis smirks some and nods, "she was never far off, was she? I mean, you were pretty much both, yeah?"

Harry grins a little before he's looking out at the cloudy skies again. He sighs and pushes his hair back.

"None of them have heard the song yet," Louis states softly, Harry looking back. "I... told them I'd wait for you to arrive. It just... seemed right."

"You didn't have to wait on me," Harry is saying quietly, his eyes meeting Louis' again. "Really..."

"I... I asked you to do the song with me," Louis starts, before he's biting his lip, "and... I think that... that after everything we have been through together, Harry, that... that it's time to just tell the truth..."

Harry's closing his mouth as he's watching Louis; he stays silent for a long pause because he can't find the words.

"It's ok if you don't want to," Louis looks back at Harry, "I'm ok with it either way. But... I feel like we should finally. I don't know."

Harry nods again. "If... if that's what you wanna do. I'm not sure either of us are ready for that though, Lou... and do you think now is a great time for people to be harassing you with questions about me and you?"

"It'll never be the right time," Louis almost laughs and shakes his head, "the fact that we had to lie for years... it makes all of this even more fucked up. My mum... she just wanted us to be able to do one fucking song together... on our own. And... in a way, I kinda feel like I owe it to her to tell the truth as well... about you... and me... and why I asked you to sing on this song..."

Harry licks his lip and glances off again, not knowing what to say to Louis now, he knows how many people he and Louis will piss off by coming out and telling the truth.

"Maybe we should just wait longer, I don’t know," Louis shrugs some and looks back at Harry, "I mean... maybe we should think about it, for a bit longer."

"You know how many people will be fucking pissed at us..."

"Fuck them," Louis mumbles and shakes his head. "Honestly, Simon has already lost me for the next season of X-Factor most likely... but that's another conversation."

"You're not worried about pissing off everyone now?" Harry's asking quietly. "What... what about Eleanor... and everyone else, Lou?"

Louis bites his lip and sighs before he's hitting his cigarette again and remaining quiet now.

Harry doesn't know what to say either, so he only tries to smile as he's whispering, "do you have a joint?"

Louis looks back and laughs some, "I'm still Louis Tomlinson, so yeah."

Harry chuckles while Louis is pulling one out and lighting it for him. Harry thanks him and hits the joint between his fingers, while Louis only stands still, watching him. 

"You look exhausted," Louis tells him, his tone gentle. "You've been overworking yourself."

Harry shrugs some, "maybe."

"Do you stay so busy on purpose?" Louis decides to ask next, Harry's eyes staring off.

"Sometimes, yeah," Harry's whispering back without making eye contact. "It's easier to... not think... sometimes."

"What do you not wanna think about?" Louis almost laughs, "you have it all, Harry. I mean, you've done an incredible job working your ass off for your music, your image."

"Yeah, and I really did think that I wanted it all," Harry nods before he's biting his lip and shaking his head. "Sorry... I don't want to talk about myself, alright?"

"You're not happy," Louis says so softly before he's hitting the joint again. 

Harry shrugs again and sighs, "happiness is a state of mind, I guess. Maybe I just can't be happy for me..."

"Why?" Louis asks gently, his eyes studying Harry's. "Because of us?"

Harry's finally meeting his gaze, wondering if Louis could understand how he feels after all. 

"Times just used to be so much simpler," Harry almost laughs before shaking his head and sighing. "It's like... now, we're expected to be this or that..."

"It's been that way for years, love," Louis whispers back. "we’ve always been expected to be someone else. It contributed to a lot of our problems, remember?"

Harry closes his mouth and looks away again, knowing all too well what Louis means; their management wanted them to act certain ways... to act a certain way towards one another as well... and Harry can't help but wonder if maybe that's the reason he feels as if he's lied to himself for so long about being happy. He isn't happy... he's faking a life for everyone else. This isn't the life he wants.

"Time changes things," Louis manages to get out some. "When you're not faking who you are every day... when you can finally be the real you again... you start to not really care if they're pissed at you, Harold. That's where I stand right now."

Harry glances back at him, his eyes searching Louis'. "Why... why did we fall apart, Lou? Why?"

Louis doesn't look away... instead, his eyes begin to water while he's staring at Harry in front of him; and Harry's only hoping he didn't cross a line with Louis.

For Harry, the line between best friend and lover with Louis has always been so very thin... because Louis has always been both of those things to him so very well. 

"I mean," Harry almost chuckles and shakes his head, "we talked consistently for so long... you'd text me constantly. And then, it was like, one day, we didn't exist anymore... I don't understand..."

"Because your dreams were bigger than mine at the time," Louis replies quietly, "Harry, you had so much going for you. You weren't exactly around to begin with..."

"I was around plenty," Harry's saying next, his eyes glancing at Louis, "Lou, I let you hear Two Ghosts before anyone else heard the fucking album. I've always made an effort to... to tell you something... to share something with you... because... I always fucking miss you."

Louis closes his mouth as he's staring off again, his eyes only widening some. He isn't shocked by Harry's confession. He knows how he feels about him... and he knows that Harry is already aware of how Louis himself feels. 

"We live in 2 different worlds right now," Louis is soon saying, his tone low. "It's not like either of us can just... drop everything."

"We don't have to," Harry says, his eyes studying every inch of Louis' face. "Why... why can't we just... be us again? Even if that means we aren't together all the fucking time. We don't have to be, Lou. You know that. I mean, this song... this amazing gift you have written for your mum... you wanted me to do this with you because... she asked me to sing just one song with you... it meant something to her.... and Lou... we meant something to her... our relationship meant something to her..."

Louis stands completely still, his eyes not breaking from Harry's even if he does want to look away; he can see the tears forming in Harry's eyes and he can tell how much he's hurting... he knows Harry can see his pain as well. He's always been gifted that way when it comes to Louis.

"She wanted the best for you," Harry says quieter, "and for me. She treated me just like she treated you. She knew how much we cared about each other... even if other people thought we were insane for how strongly we felt for one another so young. She never did. She never saw us as teenagers who didn't know what love was. She knew we loved each other, even in the beginning..."

"I know that," Louis starts and sighs. "But..."

"But what?" Harry's asking quickly, "You want to come out and tell the truth about our lives during One Direction... you want to do all of this except admit that you love me. When I'm standing right fucking here, Lou."

"Harry, you already know that I love you," Louis is almost shouting before he sighs, "I'm... I'm sorry. I just... didn't think I had to make the obvious known..."

"If you love me still, then why are we living like this?" Harry asks at once, his eyes searching Louis'. "We go weeks without talking, months without seeing each other physically... but we literally fuck every time we do..."

Louis smirks and shakes his head as Harry only grins some. 

"It's true," Harry shrugs and finally sighs. "I just... don't get it. I mean, are you happy like this?"

Louis looks back at him, and Harry can read him completely; he knows Louis is anything but happy at the moment. 

"What would it take to make you happy?" Harry manages to ask Louis, his hand touching his waist softly.

Louis wants to look away from the green eyes in front of him, but he knows he can't. Harry is all he has wanted for so long... but how does he admit that? 

Louis' phone sounds and he's sighing quickly and reaching in his back pocket. "I'm sorry... they've been pestering me about interviews and shit..."

"Answer it if you need to," Harry's telling him as he steps back, "I get it... I do."

"No," Louis is quickly saying as he silences his phone, "it can wait."

"Are you sure?" Harry's asking softly. "It's ok, really..."

"Harry," Louis interrupts, his face serious as he's staring at Harry, "I've waited... fucking months to say what I'm about to say..."

Harry closes his mouth and watches Louis' face turning red. 

"Sometimes, when we lose someone close to us, we realise who we've taken for granted," Louis whispers now, though his voice breaks some. "And... I did take you for granted... I kept pushing you away because... it was easier than feeling."

"I get that," Harry states, his tone gentle. "I also get that... a lot of things scared you away..."

"They shouldn't have," Louis sighs, "I... I spent so much of my time building you up... telling you not to give a fuck what others thought... but I couldn't do the fucking same? I mean, really..."

"Lou, once upon a time you didn't care," Harry's saying, "they changed you. They changed you so much fucking more than I wanted them to. You... you used to be so lively... so happy all the time..."

"Time does change us," Louis shrugs and looks off again, rain beginning to fall around them. 

"Time didn't change you... they did," Harry's whispering to Louis. "And you know that."

"Hey, you lads wanna come in and watch this movie with us?" Lottie is asking from the door, "Felicite is about to start Bird Box."

Harry's smirking and looking at Louis, "uh, I don't mind."

Louis shrugs and smiles some before he's hitting the joint one last time. "My sister's take over my home. Every fucking time."

Harry chuckles and hits the joint before he's putting it out, his eyes meeting Louis'. 

"Uh, can... can we talk maybe after the movie? Or in the morning?" Louis is asking, "I... I really would like that."

Harry's nodding some before they head inside, joining Louis' siblings for the movie. Harry sits with Doris and Ernest, and Louis watches Harry throughout the movie, more mesmerised by him than the movie itself. 

He wishes he could go back and change so many things with Harry... but he knows that the past is the past. And that he and Harry have to move on from where they were, and where they are.

But how does he tell Harry that the only thing in the world that'll make him happy is Harry himself? Living with him again and sharing a life with him again... like they did for so many years. 

Louis wonders how they can even go back to being that way... so much time has come between them. 

That evening, Lottie is switching off lights in the living room as she's telling Harry goodnight and going upstairs. Harry sits on the sofa with his book and tea, though his mind is thinking about Louis instead of really reading what's in front of him. 

He finally sees Louis coming downstairs, holding a small envelope in his hand. He smiles warmly at Harry for a moment. 

"I have to show you something," he's saying quietly. Harry's sitting up some on the sofa as Louis takes a seat, handing Harry the envelope. "Uh, mum wrote me this... and she left it for me..."

 

Harry's looking at Louis, then back to the envelope that's addressed "My darling Son". 

Harry's biting his lip as he's opening it, wondering exactly what this letter will say. 

"My darling Louis, words could never explain how proud of you I am. You have grown into an amazing young man. And I'm so very proud to call you mine. I know that this isn't easy for you. This isn't easy for me. Nothing could've prepared me to leave you and the girls like this..."

Harry's wiping his eyes before continuing to read, Louis rubbing his palms together beside him.

"I do want you to listen to these words though, Louis. Even when I'm no longer here, I want these words to reside in you, until the day that I see you again. 

You have the strength inside of you to keep going on... even though I know you won't feel like you do at first. But that's the thing about love, and family. They're always there to help us through difficult times..."

Harry sniffs some as he's continuing to read, Louis still sitting next to him as his tears are falling silently. 

"Your sisters still need you. I know some days will be harder than others for you. I know this world will break your heart. But there are people in this world who adore you, and they need you, Louis. You mean too much to them. You have helped to inspire too many. Which leads me to one person in particular..."

Harry's biting his lip as he sees his name now in Jay's handwriting. He's taking a deep breath before he starts reading the next paragraph.

"Harry needs you, Louis. And you need him. The 2 of you were made for each other and you know that. Harry has been there for you since you were 18 and he was only 16. He has been the one constant friend in your life. And he loves you with all of his heart..."

Harry wants to cry even more reading how much Jay knew them both... and how they felt for one another.

"Don't ever let him go. I know that things between the 2 of you have been anything but easy. And that obstacles have always been in your way. But if there was one thing I could ask for the 2 of you in this life it would be that you could both be accepted for who you are... and who you love..."

Harry's wiping his eyes again and looking at Louis for a moment, then back to the paper in his hand. 

"I wish that the 2 of you could record a song together one day, and just be who you are without people's expectations of you. Because you are both so incredibly special. You both have hearts of gold. I know that Harry will make you very happy, Louis, just as you will make him very happy. Don't ever lose him. The strength you need you will find in leaning on him. Don't be afraid to be honest with him. Tell him how you're feeling. Tell him if you miss him, Louis. Life is far too short for us to have regrets. And I don't wish for you to ever regret anything in your life..."

Louis sniffs and wipes his eyes slowly before he's watching Harry read the letter from his mum.

"Don't be afraid to be with him. I know that the fears you feel are real, Louis. I know the demons you have faced. But no one has to go through the darkness alone. Please lean on Harry. Please sit and talk with him about the easier times. Life isn't fair. We both know that. But with the right people in our lives, life can be beautiful. 

I am fortunate enough to have you and your sisters. You all have been blessings to me my entire life. I got to be a mum to all of you. It was the best part of my life, Louis. Seeing you growing up, changing, and getting to see your wildest dreams come true in One Direction... I have seen so much with you. I wish I could still see more with you. But sometimes, our time runs out sooner than we wish..."

Harry's wiping his eyes again and sighing before he's trying to finish it.

"... I'm not upset about this anymore. I can only make peace with this. I also need you to make peace with yourself, Louis, your past and your present. Let it all go. You are an incredible man with a humble heart. And you have a very bright future ahead of you, my love. I love you so much, my beautiful son. And believe me when I say that we will meet again one day. But for now, keep living your life... and I'll live through you, my child. keep fighting, and don't ever give up, my love."

Harry slowly folds up the note when he's finished and he can't even bring himself to look at Louis; they're both a mess.

"Uh," Louis finally clears his throat, "she wrote us each one... and I've been holding onto it for a while. I found it in me bag the other day... and... the words hit me all over again."

Harry's glancing at Louis now. "Really?"

"Yeah," Louis nods and sighs, "I... I can't tell you how much I needed to hear those words though, Harry. It was like... I could hear her voice again, talking to me..."

Harry nods some while he's watching Louis grinning and tears are falling from his eyes. 

"I'm afraid that I'll forget what she sounds like one day," Louis manages to get out though his voice cracks. 

"You won't," Harry's whispering to him, rubbing his back gently, "you have plenty of videos to show you. I have voicemails on my phone as well..."

"You have one of my mum's voicemails still?" Louis asks as he's looking at Harry. 

Harry nods and shrugs. "Yeah. Well, I... I really couldn't delete them all."

"Can I hear it?" Louis is asking quietly.

Harry nods a little and pulls out his phone before looking through his voicemails. He's sniffing as he hits play, letting Louis hear Jay's voice again.

"Harry, Hi! Just wanted to call and make sure you knew you were invited to our place this weekend! Hope you can come see us again. Love you so much."

Harry's sighing as he glances at Louis again, seeing him wipes his eyes.

"She loved you," Louis smirks some, "she really did."

"She loved me because she knew how much you loved me," Harry states softly, "she treated me like I was her son."

"She did," Louis whispers and looks at the fire, "when... when you were talking about her... all I could think of was her letter to me... and what she said about you."

"Why'd it take you so long to show it to me?" Harry's asking now with a small grin. "I'm kidding."

Louis smiles some, "I actually wanted to the other day at the studio... I just couldn't bring myself to."

Harry nods. "Well, we are releasing a song for her after all."

Louis grins and finally looks back at Harry beside him. "Everything she said in that letter, though, Harry... she's right. I need to start living my life for me. If that's confessing that I'm in love with you... then that's what I have to do."

Harry closes his mouth and sits back some, looking at Louis shocked, "what?"

"I... I want to be with you," Louis is finally admitting, feeling as if a thousand tons have been lifted from his shoulders. "Alright? I do. And I want the whole fucking world to know finally. And with this song, we can tell them all."

Harry's eyes widen, "are... are you high?"

Louis snickers and shakes his head. "No... I'm... I'm living the life my mum wanted me to have."

"So," Harry's starting slowly, "you want to just say 'fuck it all' and come out..."

"Why not? What do we have to lose?" Louis questions, "more people believe we're together than not."

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?" Louis is asking, "Harry, everyone in the music industry already knows about us as it is. That's the fucking truth."

"Lou, what if they try to take legal action...," Harry's asking softly.

"I'm tired of hiding," Louis says quickly, cutting Harry off completely. "I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy... just like you are. And... when I read that letter, it allowed me to take a step back and evaluate what I was doing with my life. I want to make music, but not if I can't have you."

Harry's staring at him, his eyes not breaking as tears are falling. "We haven't seen each other in months, Lou..."

"Has that ever stopped us before?" Louis is asking, his tone serious. "Honestly, Harold, we see each other every few months and like you said, we fuck and move on. Well, that's not the person I want to be anymore. I want... I want a life with you, I want kids with you..."

"You said kids," Harry interrupts, "what?"

"Yeah," Louis is saying back, his eyes on Harry's, "I want a fucking family with you. I do. Because since I was 18 you have been my person, Harry... and you always will be. No matter how much I try to fake a lifestyle, I will never love anyone else... because I've already given my heart to you... my whole heart. And I don't regret it. At all. I do regret taking so long to tell you though. Because... so much time has gone by..."

"We still have time," Harry's whispering, his hand touching Louis' leg gently, "Lou, you and I are capable of doing amazing things together... and you know that. But... to just come out with all of it..."

"Do you want to be with me?" Louis asks, his tone serious. Harry can't look away from the stare louis is giving him. "Because I want a life with you. A real life... for the 2 of us."

"You're willing to risk... almost everything to come out?" Harry asks quietly. "Lou... everything you have worked for..."

"I've already talked to one of my managers," Louis confesses and bites his lip, "and he doesn't see it being as big of a problem as I had thought... if that's what I really want to do."

"What?" Harry's asking softly. "You’re absolutely serious, aren’t you?"

"I mean, I don't know how your team would even feel about it," Louis whispers and looks away. "I get it if it's not what you want, Harry. You can just say so. I mean, we both have a lot at stake here."

"Lou, I travelled thousands of miles out of the fucking blue to be here," Harry's telling him quickly, "with you. You... you don't understand how alone I have felt... without you there to talk to."

"Probably a lot like I felt when I was in rehab," Louis manages to get out though his voice breaks again.

"Yeah," Harry's sighing and pushing his hair back, "probably. I only meant that... that I'm not scared. Yeah, it's going to be a huge bomb to just drop... and... I'm a bit more worried for you than me. This song... it was a gift to your mum... not a coming out..."

"One life for the two of us," Louis glances back at Harry, and Harry's mouth closes. "That line... it has been stuck in my head for ages, Harold... and for some reason, I don't just picture me mum. I see you, too."

Harry doesn't say anything as he stares at the fire burning down slowly.

"'We'll end just like we started. Just you and me and no one else,'" Louis is quoting his lyrics, "it... to me has a double meaning. I can see X-Factor... the beginning for us. The beginning of it all... the music, our relationship..."

Harry glances back at him, a small smile coming over his face.

"I know that it's a huge deal to agree to this," Louis states and looks at Harry again, "and I fully get it if you don't want to... but... Harry, I miss you. What... what will it take for me to be with you? I'm willing to come out and shout it from the rooftops now."

Harry's chuckling some as he sits up and places his hands together. "I've... I've wanted to fix things for a while, Lou. You have no idea."

"Hey, life happens," Louis whispers, "I... should've showed you the letter sooner."

"It was your letter," Harry says, his eyes searching Louis', "I know we both have different careers, Lou, but... I meant it when I said that I would put mine on hold to accompany you with whatever you decided to do. I meant that."

"I know you did," Louis is whispering back before he's scooting closer to Harry. His fingers hesitate for a moment before they're touching Harry's cheek gently. "I'm sorry... that my pride has gotten the best of me for so long..."

"It wasn’t just pride," Harry's saying, "you thought you had to be a certain person for everyone else. And you never had to be."

"I know that... when you went solo... that it was your choice to not tell everyone you were gay," Louis is telling Harry in a soft tone, "and I do respect that. But... I'm just so sick of being who I'm not, Harry. And... you of all people should understand that... you’re the only one who knows me now. You know that who I've been isn't me."

Harry bites his lip, "you're right. But... you've been going through a lot, Lou. And that's normal."

Louis tries to nod as he's smiling a little, "I just wish she was still here, ya know? I mean, I think about the fact that... that she will never see my kids... shit like that really bothers me."

Harry nods some, "you're afraid of moving on with your life and being happy... because you don't want to forget her."

"Maybe I am," Louis sighs and sits back again.

"She'll always live through you," Harry's whispering, his eyes meeting Louis'. "You're her son... and you will always have part of her."

And in this moment, Louis doesn't see anyone else but the 16 year old curly haired boy he fell in love with 9 years ago on X Factor. Harry's so different to him, but yet, he's still the same. He's more mature, yet, Louis still sees the young man he used to be all those years ago. 

For a moment, Louis is transported back through time... and he can see every X-Factor performance once again in his mind. He can remember the first time Harry smiled at him... the first time they had a conversation alone. He can remember performing the first One Direction concert... so many memories with Harry are flashing through his mind.

Louis realises again, after years, how fortunate he has always been to have this boy... this man in his life; he's blessed to have had Harry stand beside him all of these years... especially when his mum died.

"She did a fucking incredible job raising you as well, Louis," Harry speaks up again, his tone low. "She did. You're absolutely amazing."

Louis smiles again before he's looking off, "I sometimes just wish that... that I could just talk to her once more... have tea with her..."

"She always made the best tea... and cocoa," Harry grins some.

"Yeah," Louis nods and looks at Harry. "I... I remember sitting with her a lot at night... towards the end... and... she always wanted to talk about my music. I didn’t. I couldn’t see how that was even important at the time... but...”

Harry's biting his lip as Louis is pausing and staring down at his hands again. Harry's slowly reaching over and putting his arms around Louis, pulling him into a hug.

And Louis finally breaks; he allows himself to feel every emotion he has been overwhelmed with. He closes his eyes and buries his face into Harry's shoulder, finding comfort in the one person who has always been so well at giving it to him.

Louis can't even admit how much he has needed to hold Harry in his arms again. Just the feeling of having Harry close to him again is too much for him. 

"It's alright," Harry's whispering in his ear, and Louis can feel every muscle in his body beginning to relax at Harry's voice. "We don't have to talk about it right now."

Louis is sighing and sniffing some before he's pressing his tear soaked face into Harry's neck. And Harry only responds by holding him closer. 

No words have to be said between them; only the sound of the fire crackling can be heard... and Louis sniffing every few seconds.

Harry knows deep down how much Louis has needed to do this; he knows how horrid this beautiful boy is at holding everything in until he explodes. Louis has always tried to be the strongest person, and Harry has always admired him for that.

“It’s alright,” Harry’s saying again in a whisper as he’s pressing his nose against Louis’ hair and closing his eyes. “I’m here, Lou.”

“I wish you would’ve been here all along,” Louis admits into Harry’s neck before he’s sighing and holding Harry tighter. “I... I can’t tell you how much I’ve needed you... needed this... Harry, you don’t understand...”

“I want to,” Harry’s telling him softly, “I do understand that I fucking love you and care about you.”

Louis sits back, his blue eyes piercing Harry’s green eyes. “You’re the only person who really knows me now. You’ve... you’ve known me better than anyone has since I was 18. And... I’m so fucking mad at myself for taking you for granted...”

“You didn’t,” Harry’s sighing, his hand rubbing Louis’ leg softly, “Lou, this isn’t your fault. It’s not. Not all of it. We’re both to blame for how things turned out between us. But... the thing is, we can fix it. We have so many times...”

“Do you want to spend more time fixing a relationship than having one?” Louis asks and wipes his eyes, “or even defending our relationship rather than having one. Because we’d have to do both constantly...”

“Why?” Harry’s asking with a smirk, “because we’re too much alike? And we always have been?”

“I’m not as stubborn as you,” Louis states quickly. 

“Oh, you’re fucking joking, right?” Harry’s laughing, “please. You’re so fucking stubborn. God, it’s like... not easy to get through to you. Never has been.”

“Well, I could say the same about you,” Louis smirks and shrugs before he’s sighing. He takes a deep breath and wipes his tears away again slowly as Harry’s leaning in, his fingers touching Louis’ bottom lip gently.

Harry stares in his eyes until their lips are meeting and moving in unison again; and Louis can feel his entire body beginning to tingle.

His hands run down Harry’s neck and chest as he’s moaning in Harry’s mouth and losing himself in the one person that has always known him completely.

And with all of the lights out, Louis makes love to Harry on the floor in front of the fireplace, neither of them even caring about anyone else being home.

Harry closes his eyes and loses himself in the way it feels to be with Louis once more; his fingers dig deep into Louis’ back as he’s coming, Louis only seconds away himself.

Louis finally leans down and bites the side of Harry’s neck as he’s coming and trying to contain his loud moans. Harry doesn’t even mind the bite; he’s only wincing for a moment before he’s smiling again.

Louis is sighing and getting up soon after, Harry grinning at him as he’s feeling of the side of his neck. “Damn... some things never change, do they?”

Louis looks back at him as he’s dressing again. He smirks at Harry and shrugs, “I thought love bites have always been our thing?”

Harry snickers and shakes his head as he’s dressing now, “oh, fuck you.”

Louis chuckles while he’s grabbing his cigarettes again. Harry follows him outside, opting to leave his boots inside for once. 

He sighs and smiles as Louis is lighting the cigarette. “Remember that one interview where I had that mark on my neck?”

Louis smirks and nods, “and I told them that I gave it to you?”

Harry nods and looks off at the trees blowing with the wind. “I thought our PR team would murder you for that...”

Louis chuckles, “they weren’t very fond of me. I made their lives hell for so fucking long.”

“But it was a fucking blast,” Harry’s laughing. “I mean, we all made their lives hell. You know? Zayn and you mostly, but...”

“That is true,” Louis nods and grins, “yeah, good times.”

“The best,” Harry’s whispering, “I remember... the interview in Paris... and I honestly thought they were going to like... never let us speak to each other again...”

Louis laughs a little, “yeah... simple times... god, I miss those times.”

“So do I,” Harry’s whispering now, “I miss the innocence... not knowing what would become of us...”

Louis glances back, though words fail him right now.

“Remember when it all felt so brand new?” Harry’s saying with a grin again, “we got to see all of these countries for the first time. We were so psyched, weren’t we?”

“Niall was,” Louis laughs. “I remember that he collected a pin, wasn’t it? From every country?”

“And magnets,” Harry laughs and nods, “some of the best times of our lives we’re doing those years, Lou. And... I was fortunate enough to share all of it with you... every first was with you. And I can’t say that I’d change any of it.”

Louis glances back, “I wouldn’t either. Maybe how things went down with Zayn, but...”

Harry’s smirking as he nods, “yeah, well... some things I would change, I suppose.”

“Do you wanna get some sleep?” Louis is asking as he’s putting out his cigarette. “I know you probably still have jet lag.”

“I wouldn’t mind watching a movie... perhaps in your bed,” Harry’s grinning at him.

“Uh, ok,” Louis chuckles, “anything but The Notebook again. We watched it last time you stayed with me...”

“Oh, come on. It’s fucking amazing,” Harry’s laughing and following Louis inside and upstairs to his room.

They lie in bed a few minutes later, watching a movie on Louis’ tv on the wall. Harry does his best to stay awake, but Louis can tell he’s not making it.

He grins as Harry is finally lying his head on Louis’ shoulder and snoring soon after. And Louis can only take a deep breath and be thankful for this moment... for this chance to experience this again.

The next evening, Louis is finally playing the song for his siblings, his eyes staying on Harry mostly throughout the entirety of it. 

Harry still doesn’t get how Louis can remain so strong every time he listen to this. Harry wants to cry every time he hears Louis’ voice, and his raw emotion. 

Harry hopes that the entire world will hear the emotion in Louis’ voice... and how he brings the words to life so much that it’s almost heartbreaking.

When the song ends, Lottie is wiping her eyes and standing to hug Louis, “it’s beautiful. I absolutely love it.”

“Thanks,” Louis tells her softly. 

She’s hugging Harry next and smiling at him, “and your voice is just the touch it needed. I’m really glad the 2 of you did this...”

“I am, too,” Harry’s whispering and smiling at Louis. 

Louis only grins before he’s pulling out his phone again, seeing a message from part of his team asking him to look at something on Twitter.

Louis looks at Harry who is busy talking to Felicite and Lottie now about the song... then, he’s looking down to see the tweet, and his eyes are widening.

“Singer Harry Styles is in Doncaster again, and we have reason to believe he’s staying with his 1D band mate Louis Tomlinson. More of that story soon, plus news about Louis’ upcoming single.”

“Son of a bitch,” Louis is mumbling and shaking his head.

Harry notices and steps over, “what?”

Louis sighs and shows Harry the tweet before he’s asking, “where’s your phone? I’m sure Jeff will be calling in just a moment.”

“How... how did they get that photo of me at the airport?” Harry’s asking quieter, “Lou, no one was suppose to know...”

“Someone does obviously,” Louis states, “Alright? What do we do?”

Harry bites his lip and glances away, knowing they’ve been in these types of situations before. “I can ask someone to have them take it down.”

“Like our management used to do,” Louis nods and sighs, “I... I don’t want that life, Harry. What is so fucking wrong with just the truth?”

“You’ve never wanted to tell anyone the truth about us.” Harry’s saying quickly before he even realises. He lets out a deep breath and meets Louis’ gaze, “this has always been harder for you than me. How... how is coming out now so easy to you?”

“What?” Lottie asks behind Harry, her eyes shifting between the 2 of them. “Are... are you...”

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Harry’s sighing, “I’m sorry, Lou...”

“It’s alright,” Louis smirks and shakes his head before he’s meeting his sisters eyes, “yeah... I’ve told Harry how I feel about... coming out... and I’m finally ok with it.”

“You’re... what?” Felicite asks next, shock all over her face. “Louis...”

“Yeah, I know,” Louis is trying to smile, “it’s a huge step. I get it. It’s a risk, too, but... after spending years not being me, I just want to be me again. And... I promised our mum that I would do this... so, I have to. I do...”

“You promised her you’d come out?” Harry asks, his eyes searching Louis’. “When... when did you tell her this?”

“She made me promise one night that... that I’d finally become the person that I wanted to be. I mean, she knew how much I loved One Direction, but she also knew that it took a huge toll on me mentally and physically. And... she was sick of seeing me trying to be someone else... and not the son that she knew.”

Lottie manages to nod as she’s wiping her eyes. Harry can’t look away from Louis, however. He only wishes Louis would’ve mentioned this much sooner.

“I get it that... that the thought scares you, Harry,” Louis says more quietly, “but... it has scared me for years... especially these past few months because... I feel like I have to do this... and I need your support.”

Harry’s closing his mouth, his eyes not breaking from Louis’. 

“I’m not going to ask you to come out... but I do wanna ask you to... to stand behind me,” Louis explains, his voice breaking, “it’s going to be hard enough as it is, but without you with me, I can’t do it...”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Harry’s saying quickly before he’s reaching over, grabbing Louis by the waist and pulling him in for a kiss. 

Lottie giggles and covers her mouth as Ernest and Doris are laughing and making kissing sounds.

Harry finally breaks the kiss, his green eyes meeting the blue, “I’ll be here. there’s nowhere else in this world I would rather be than by your side, Louis. You have no fucking clue.”

“No, I do, love,” Louis whispers and rubs Harry’s cheek gently, “these past few months have been the loneliest months of my life. Eleanor doesn’t understand... I mean, I don’t think she even tries anymore...”

“She isn’t thrilled about being seen with you anymore?” Harry’s asking with a smirk. His face grows serious as he’s studying Louis again. “If you come out, what about her? And One Direction? All the rumours throughout the years? I mean, coming out together was always the plan...”

Louis grins a little, “it was, yeah. I shouldn’t be surprised that you remembered that we made that promise...”

Harry shrugs and smiles some, “I remember a lot of conversations we had.”

Louis nods before his phone sounds; Harry’s is also vibrating in his pocket while Louis answers his call. 

Louis looks at the text from his team and he’s not even bothered by this news anymore. He’s sure that Harry probably is more than himself.

Harry talks to Jeff about the tweet, and also the many news articles that are now popping up on his whereabouts. Louis is putting his phone back in his pocket as Harry’s still on the phone with Jeff, his fingers running over his forehead.

“I was as discreet as I could be,” Harry’s sighing, “Jeff, I never saw anyone... no cameras. Nothing...”

Louis bites his lip and glances back at Lottie and Felicite, “do you think I should wait longer... about saying anything? I know I’m gonna piss off a whole lot of people...”

“Louis, I think... I think if you promised mum that you’d do this, then you should,” Lottie tells him as she’s grabbing his hand. “We all promised her that we’d live our lives to the fullest... and I know that this would be the best way for you to... I mean, you could finally be you again.”

Louis smiles a little and glances at Harry as he’s ending the call. “Well?”

“I told Jeff that... that I wasn’t saying anything right now,” Harry replies, his eyes meeting Louis’. “I told him that... that I’d most likely be making a statement soon enough.”

“A statement,” Louis repeats softly. Harry nods some.

“You’re not coming out alone,” Harry’s telling him, “I promised you I’d do this with you. No matter the consequences.”

“Harry...”

“Louis,” Harry’s saying instantly, “I made you a promise at 17. I’m not breaking it. Alright?”

Louis nods and finally grins again, “ok. As long as you’re sure...”

“You know I am,” Harry’s whispering. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need you, Lou. You know that.”

Louis only grins a little before he’s stepping over, leaning up to kiss Harry slowly. And Harry only puts his arms around Louis and pulls him against his own body, making Louis nearly moan in his mouth.

“Oi, get a room,” Lottie is laughing. 

Harry only smiles and leans his forehead against Louis’, breathing in his scent, the scent Harry recognises as his home.

Finally, the day of the song release comes, and Louis is sure he’s going to puke from nerves while he’s waiting for the song to finally go live. 

“You ok?” Harry’s asking as he walks in the living room, Louis sitting with his phone. 

“Yeah,” Louis manages to smile some, “just... thinking.”

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Harry’s asking quietly. “We can wait...”

“We’ve waited long enough,” Louis states and stands up, his eyes on Harry’s. “Honestly, I don’t want to regret anything in my life, Harry. I want to do this... because I want you.”

Harry finally nods and smiles some, “ok... well, you choose the place that we’ll go to together, then.”

Louis grins some, “how about the Italian restaurant here that you like so much?”

Harry nods, “I’ll arrange the paps, then.”

“Sounds great,” Louis whispers.

“You’re sure?” Harry’s asking again as he pulls out his phone. “I wanna be sure...”

“Harry,” Louis chuckles some, “I’m positive, love. We’re doing this.”

Harry smiles, “ok... no looking back.”

“Nope,” Louis states with a smile as Harry’s walking out of the room on his phone. 

Lottie is walking in and smiling at him, “you ready for the world to hear your song? Everyone will love it, Louis. You know they will. They all love you.”

“Think that they’ll love me no matter what?” Louis looks back at her.

“If they care whether you’re gay or straight they’re fucking morons anyway,” Lottie rolls her eyes and sighs, Louis only smirking. “They should want you to be happy.”

“Yeah, I know,” Louis nods and sighs some. “Harry and I... we’re staging a date...”

“What do you mean?” She’s asking with a small laugh. “For someone?”

“For ourselves,” Louis replies, his face serious. “Uh, we’re going to have dinner in town and... we’re staging paparazzi. To take photos.”

“Why?” Lottie asks with a confused expression. 

“Because... I feel like the best way to... to break this news is by doing it this way,” Louis says and shrugs. “The song is going to be out in a matter of hours now... so, there’s not really a better time for this. And Harry and I are ready.”

“What if others aren’t?” Lottie asks softly. “And you lose this career? What if Harry loses his?”

Harry walks back in and smiles, “hey, uh, I got in touch with a few of them. So, dinner should be interesting.”

Louis glances back at Lottie, “Harry’s not going to lose his career for being gay. Have you seen his shows? He’s like Freddie Mercury’s son.”

Lottie almost snorts and Harry’s only looking between them confused as he’s smiling. “What?”

”Nothing,” Louis answers and smiles some before he’s looking at his sister again. “It’ll all work itself out. But the best thing to do is to just admit it... and let it all be what it is.”

“It is what it is,” Harry’s speaking up before smiling and pointing to Louis’ collarbone tattoo. 

“Could you stop,” Louis shakes his head and sighs but smiles at Harry again. “Honestly...”

“Sorry,” Harry grins before he’s going upstairs. “I have a date to get dressed for. Yes. Maybe I’ll get laid tonight, too. Fuck, yes.”

“Are you high, Harold?” Louis is laughing and shaking his head as he’s going upstairs behind him.

That evening at almost 7, they’re arriving in front of the small restaurant in Doncaster. Harry’s adjusting his sheer blouse as he and Louis are walking in and grabbing a table. 

They sit and talk and then, they listen to Louis’ song being played... and Louis can’t help but grin from ear to ear. 

Harry smiles while he’s reading tweets to Louis about the song a few moments later... and tweets about how much these young girls love him and his musical abilities.

And when they’re leaving, the cameras are there, just as they’ve requested them to be. Louis only smiles at Harry as they’re walking out, the paps taking multiple shots of the two of them walking side by side as they chat.

And Harry, being Harry, leans over and gives Louis’ cheek a quick kiss before his dimples are showing again.

“I love you. I hope you know that,” Harry’s telling Louis quietly.

Louis licks his lips and smiles at Harry beside him, “I’ve always known that. Never doubted it. Even when I wanted to, Harold.”

“Promise me something,” Harry’s saying as he stops on the sidewalk, the paparazzi a few feet back now. “Promise me that... that when this news breaks, it doesn’t change us... I... I want this to fix everything. I want the truth to set all of this straight... not make it worse.”

“It won’t,” Louis tells him, his voice soft, “Harold, trust me. No matter what happens, I’m... I’m not going anywhere. Alright? I can’t. I need you.”

“I need you, too,” Harry’s whispering back, his eyes serious. He tries to smile, “Let’s, uh, go.”

“How about we go back to the house and... just get lost in the sheets?” Louis asks and grins.

Harry smiles and nods, “uh, yeah. I can’t turn that down, now, can I?”

Harry and Louis spend hours in Louis’ room, no lights on, no sounds; just 2 souls making love to each other again. They don’t stop until the early hours of the morning when they both pass out finally, wrapped in one another’s arms.

And when Louis is waking the next morning to see the sun shining in, he’s glancing down at Harry’s head on his chest. He grins and watches Harry sleeping so soundly, his lips slightly parted.

Louis hears his phone beeping and he’s picking it up, seeing so many messages from people... even people he doesn’t even talk to anymore.

“Oh, Jesus,” Louis is mumbling while he unlocks his phone, looking at messages from Liam, Zayn, Niall, Stan, and a few more. He wonders what exactly the news articles are even saying for Louis to be getting this many messages.

He opens Twitter next and sees several articles... all of them with one common noun in the headline: “Larry”.

He sighs and sits his phone down before he’s looking down at this incredible human being sleeping on him.

He runs his fingers through Harry’s curls gently, so many thoughts racing through his mind... yet, he isn’t worried. He feels almost at peace with himself. And he’s sure that no one can change that for him now.

He smiles a little, knowing that the people who really love and care about him will still be there for him... and that’s what’s most important to him. He knows they will talk about Larry for months and months to come... but he doesn’t mind for once.

Because now, he can openly love the man that has always been there for him... the man who changed his life when they were still so young.

He takes a deep breath as his mind goes to his mum now... hoping with all of his heart that he’s making her proud with being true to himself. 

He finally picks up his phone again, Harry still snoring quietly. He goes to Twitter and begins a message, a small grin crossing his lips.

“To all of the amazing people out there, I just want to say a huge thank you. Completing this song was anything but easy. But I feel as if I’m finally in that place of my grief where I can share this with all of you. And I hope that you will love it as I do. 

Times change and circumstances change us. But if we’re lucky, truly lucky, we will have people in our lives who will always believe in us and will always push us to be the best versions of ourselves.

I encourage each of you to always be you. Don’t let this world change you or dim your shine. You are amazing just as you are. Don’t feel like you have to change for anyone. Always remember to stay true to yourself. Only then will you be happy. 

Thank you to all of you. I love you all more than you’ll ever know. Stay strong. - Louis x”


End file.
